coffee is not that good.

(I was supposed to post this yesterday but I didn't. Now doesn't that sound familiar?)

So my brain just entered the panic zone because my teacher told the class that we were supposed to have nine posts by the end of the day but then she was like, wait, I forgot I told this class that you can have the summer reading post as one of your nine. And I was like oh thank goodness (I only have seven right now. This is the eighth one.) because I'm tired today and I've had enough. And it's only 8:02 in the morning. It's too early for this. I'm running on like an hour of sleep. Maybe three. I don't remember falling asleep and I don't remember waking up either so who knows how long.

I am on page 106 of number9dream right now so I'm not quite sure what the theme is but right now, I think it's you are not as cool as you think you are. I think that statement applies to Eiji pretty well because at the beginning, I thought Eiji was a pretty cool and suave dude until I realized that he was daydreaming the. whole. time. It is so weird to finish reading the dream and then see a familiar sentence and go wait what???

And so are you ready? Because I'm about to give you a long quote. There's lots of dialogue.

"'We are both busy people, so why not cut the small talk? It is a simple-enough matter. You already know my name,or at least you knew it, once upon a time. Eiji Miyake. Yes, Ms. Kato, that Eiji Miyake. Why am I here in Tokyo? Think about it. I am here to find out who my father is. And why you, Ms. Kato? You know his name and you know his address. What? No, I never threaten anyone. But I am telling you that you are going to give me the information I want, and right now-'

Akiko Kato blinks once. An arupt laugh. 'Eiji Miyake?'

'I fail to see the funny side.'

'Not Luke Skywalker? Not Zax Omega? Did you compose that spiel yourself, to reduce me to awed obedience? Or did you steal it from a movie? One island boy embarks on a perilous mission to discover the father he has never met. Well, Eiji Miyake, I'm afraid you are gong to discover what happens to island boys who leave their fantasies.' She shakes her head in mock pity. 'Even my closest friends call me the most poisonous lawyer in Tokyo. What makes you think you can scare me into handling confidential client information over to a child with a popgun?'

'Give me your file on my father or you will see how dangerous a child with a popgun can be.'

'Are you threatening me?'

I release the safety catch and move away from the door. 'I certainly hope so. Hands up where I can see them. Stand back from the desk. You don't want to make me jumpy. Not at this range.'

'This nonsense has gone on too-'

I fire, and her intercomscreen explodes in a plastic supernova. The bullet ricochets off the assassin-proof window and slashes into a picture of lurid sunflowers. Akiko Kato's complexion finally turns ashen, the way I want it." (Mitchell 11). (I had to stop there because I am running out of time, oh wait, it's 8:26 am. I am not going to finish this in class. More homework!! //cries.)

So did you see how cool that was? Eiji, his speech at the beginning needs a bit of work I think, but overall that was pretty cool. Unfortunately, it never happened. Eiji's got a wild imagination that he uses often in this book. It would be hard to tell the difference between what is real and what is not. (Hey!! I could've done that for the theme. Oh well, I've gone too far to go back now.)

Here is what really happened. Are you ready for another long quote?

"'Good afternoon, Osugi and Bosugi, how may I help you?'

I inject my voice with its maximum authority. 'Ye-es'- My voice squeaks as though my balls are still in puberty free fall. I blush- I am nearly twenty!- fake a cough, and restart three octaves below. 'I would like to ask if Ms. Akiko Kato is in the office.'

'Do you want to speak with her?'

'No, I would like to, I mean, yes, please, thank you, I would like to.'

'To what, sir?'

'Uh . . . to speak with her.'

'May I ask who's calling?'

'I am a, uh, business associate. A professional one.'

'I see, and do you conduct your business anonymously or do you have a name people can call you by?'

I am sweating. 'I have a name.'

'I can't put you through to Ms. Kato without a name.'

'Taro Tanaka.' The duddest of all dud names.

'Taro Tanaka. And your call would be concerning . . . ?"

'Uh . . .'

'Hello? Is anyone there?'

'Yes. Sorry.'

'Mr. Tanaka, I asked you why you want to speak with Ms. Kato.'

'Oh, I see. Sorry. Uh, it's a confidential matter.'

'Of course, but what do you wish to discuss with Ms. Kato.?'

'Uh . . . legal matters.'

'Naturally, Mr. Tanaka. Well. Ms. Kato is with the senior partners at the moment, and can't really come to the phone. If I could take down your number, company, and a rough outline of your business, I can ask Ms. Kato to return your call later today, or maybe tomorrow. Or possibly the day after.'

'Naturally, uh, yes.'

'So?'

'Uh . . .'

'Mr. Tanaka?'

I fall, drown, whatever, and hang up." (Mitchell 24).

Well, would you look at that. Eiji, yah derp.

So Eiji is pretty easy to relate to. I'm sure we all have moments like that. Thinking in our heads something cool to say but when it comes out of our mouths, it's like blarbalrahahalab.

And stuttering when delivering a comeback that could've been cool and witty? Worst thing ever.